I'm having a rough night so far.
I have an irrational feeling of jealousy of everyone that was a part of your life at any time, and got to talk to you and touch you and be around you. It's just stupid to feel like this. This is a foreign feeling for me. I don't know how to handle it. It upsets me.
Bf's mom is insisting I go to the hospital in Louisiana... I don't know when yet. I don't really want to go. I don't think I want to know what else is wrong with me... Don't I already have enough? They *do* have an awesome transplant team, though. The DaVita center is right there, too... Yes, I was looking into info on everything so I could take care of you when I got there. I told you, I like to be prepared and I like learning medical stuff. I'm just tired of MY medical stuff.
I have to try sleeping. I have to work in the morning and I don't feel well.
I love you.
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