Dear my kennyboy,
Rough day today but I held it together somehow. I so miss you and our phonecalls and texts...
I miss having you wake me up by calling me in the mornings just to tell me I was beautiful and that you loved me and for me to go back to sleep for a bit. That was all you'd say sometimes. That you just wanted to let me know those things before I started my day.
You better be waiting for me on the otherside old man. We have a lot to do still and I refuse to do it alone again.
My joints are taking a break today and are swelling with pain - my knee in particular but my wrists and ankles are keeping it company. Taboo is lying pushed up against my back and keeping me warm.
I can't seem to find a way out of my depressive funk mood. I am having a tough time dealing with your death and no one here 'gets it' or 'gets me' like you did. You know how hard it is for me to open up to people - friends, family, strangers. Makes no difference. You and my sister were the only ones that never judged me or my life because you've both been there.
I just hope your family and friends understand why I asked for a few of your belongings. I know I really have no say or claim to any of it... but a few items are personal to me. Your dirty hat. Your T-shirt. Your sg beauty redefined book. Id love your phone so I can hear our recorded msg to each other. I'm so afraid of forgetting your voice :( paranoid about it. If I could use the bumblebee jacket id ask for it but it doesn't really get that cold here. Ill take it if no one else wants it.
Id like to have some of your ashes mixed into the ink used in my tattoo for us but not sure if that will fly. Some ashes I'm.mixing with my glitter and I'm sending you into the gulf on a warm breeze and a kiss from my thinking spot. Then whenever I see my trademark purple glitter in the sand ill know you are with me. And what's left will go into the urn I'm painting for you. I might wear a vial with some in it too mixed with my blud like we planned ...
My pills are kicking in...
Long day tomorrow.
I love you Kenny.
~uneeek one
Rough day today but I held it together somehow. I so miss you and our phonecalls and texts...
I miss having you wake me up by calling me in the mornings just to tell me I was beautiful and that you loved me and for me to go back to sleep for a bit. That was all you'd say sometimes. That you just wanted to let me know those things before I started my day.
You better be waiting for me on the otherside old man. We have a lot to do still and I refuse to do it alone again.
My joints are taking a break today and are swelling with pain - my knee in particular but my wrists and ankles are keeping it company. Taboo is lying pushed up against my back and keeping me warm.
I can't seem to find a way out of my depressive funk mood. I am having a tough time dealing with your death and no one here 'gets it' or 'gets me' like you did. You know how hard it is for me to open up to people - friends, family, strangers. Makes no difference. You and my sister were the only ones that never judged me or my life because you've both been there.
I just hope your family and friends understand why I asked for a few of your belongings. I know I really have no say or claim to any of it... but a few items are personal to me. Your dirty hat. Your T-shirt. Your sg beauty redefined book. Id love your phone so I can hear our recorded msg to each other. I'm so afraid of forgetting your voice :( paranoid about it. If I could use the bumblebee jacket id ask for it but it doesn't really get that cold here. Ill take it if no one else wants it.
Id like to have some of your ashes mixed into the ink used in my tattoo for us but not sure if that will fly. Some ashes I'm.mixing with my glitter and I'm sending you into the gulf on a warm breeze and a kiss from my thinking spot. Then whenever I see my trademark purple glitter in the sand ill know you are with me. And what's left will go into the urn I'm painting for you. I might wear a vial with some in it too mixed with my blud like we planned ...
My pills are kicking in...
Long day tomorrow.
I love you Kenny.
~uneeek one
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