silly little happies, broken, bugs

My Crazy Kennyboy <3

I broke today at work when Marsi sent her email... It made me so sad. It answered a couple questions I had though. I was hoping for different answers than I received, but...

Thankfully, no one noticed the tears at work and I quickly hid them away until I clocked out and got home. Damnit Kenny. Stop making me cry now. It makes my nose run and gives me a migraine :( 

I picked up an extra 10 hr shift this week. Private party for Gov. Edwards. Blech. You know how I hate politics... It's on Tuesday - our text all day and night marathon day while you had dialysis :(  Never thought I'd miss your 'ClearOnThree' texts to let  me know you were getting your bluds scrubbied :(

Kenny getting his bluds scrubbied at dialysis
ClearOnThree

I have to find something to do to take up the 'free' time I have now so I'd stop living in and wishing for the past. If I stayed home all alone I'll just make myself upset by listening to your voicemails and videos and looking at pictures over and over. I'm sorry. I don't think you'd like me sitting here and moping and crying all the time - you hated me being sad or upset. You'd want me to be happy you're free and pain free and you'd want me to move on with my life so I'd have good stories to tell you later when we meet again. You better be waiting for me over there. We still have a lot to discover!

I'm trying. It's hard, Kenny. I can't explain. You were my life. I spent so much time trying to get YOU to see all the little silly tiny happies in the world that with you not here with me, it's hard for ME to find them for myself again. Maybe I don't want to find them now. Who's going to appreciate them besides you and me?? 

 

a slug under my door. No I didn't eat it...

weird bug. no I didn't eat it either...

me: "Hey! I found a cicada exoskeleton, wiggly slug, cricket, weird bug....!"

everyone else: "EW!"

you: "NEAT! Take a picture then... Let's eat it! or LICK IT!"

me: "OK! YUM!"

everyone else: "YOU ARE SO DISGUSTING!"

See? Who's gonna be weird with me now? 

I need to lie down. I've not been feeling well this week. The dizzyspinnypukie feelings aren't going away and I don't know what else to try :( I don't want to see the doctor again... Great now I sound like you.

I love you sillyboy.

~The Uneeek One