Kenny lovie <3
I so could use a hug tonight. And cuddles and snuggles in bed or in the big chair under a blanket. Instead I'm lying here with taboo and curled up on my pillow.
Bf and his friend are playing a new video game in the other room. I'm tired and hurty and just want to sleep but I don't feel sleep coming even with the pills I took. I need a warm body to squish up on and heartbeats and arms around me and a hand stroking my hair or something... but I'm not a ps3 controller so no such things for me.
Its sad my bf barely hugs me or kisses me - or speaks to me, to be completely honest. More like roommates :/ I know you and I have talked about this situation many nights. Its bugging me tonight. You'd tell me to come live with you and id never be without any of those basic simple things again. I couldn't then. You know why.
I left my second husband after things stayed like like this for years. We'd sometimes go days without speaking or seeing each other. I had other reasons for leaving also - like his total lack of hygiene, inability to hang onto money and his mental issues: lack of trust and severe paranoia. I couldn't handle those anymore. The night he punched the two 40g fishtanks and I had lizards and frogs and fish and water everywhere... I gave him the choice to get mental help or I'd leave.
At least bf showers and brushes his teeth and uses deodorant daily. He also doesn't assume I'm cheating on him anytime I leave the house to run errands. Ex#2 used to have me call from a landline every hour so it would show up on the caller id... bf does like to spend money though.
Why do I always get in these stupid relationships? Its like I am a dumbass magnet or something.
Sometimes I wonder... if id just be better off living by myself. I do kinda prefer being alone. Maybe I need a gf again and to take another break from boys. Lol
I'm going to clean the kitchen up now... even though I haven't been the one here to make it a wreck. It won't get done though if I don't do it. Its like I'm the only one that sees the pile of dishes and overflowing trash cans. Maybe i'll be able to sleep. Maybe I'll end up wondering what it would be like to have help. Maybe I'll just stand at the sink and imagine you're there behind me, giving me a hug while I wash dishes.
Night Kenny <3
I so could use a hug tonight. And cuddles and snuggles in bed or in the big chair under a blanket. Instead I'm lying here with taboo and curled up on my pillow.
Bf and his friend are playing a new video game in the other room. I'm tired and hurty and just want to sleep but I don't feel sleep coming even with the pills I took. I need a warm body to squish up on and heartbeats and arms around me and a hand stroking my hair or something... but I'm not a ps3 controller so no such things for me.
Its sad my bf barely hugs me or kisses me - or speaks to me, to be completely honest. More like roommates :/ I know you and I have talked about this situation many nights. Its bugging me tonight. You'd tell me to come live with you and id never be without any of those basic simple things again. I couldn't then. You know why.
I left my second husband after things stayed like like this for years. We'd sometimes go days without speaking or seeing each other. I had other reasons for leaving also - like his total lack of hygiene, inability to hang onto money and his mental issues: lack of trust and severe paranoia. I couldn't handle those anymore. The night he punched the two 40g fishtanks and I had lizards and frogs and fish and water everywhere... I gave him the choice to get mental help or I'd leave.
At least bf showers and brushes his teeth and uses deodorant daily. He also doesn't assume I'm cheating on him anytime I leave the house to run errands. Ex#2 used to have me call from a landline every hour so it would show up on the caller id... bf does like to spend money though.
Why do I always get in these stupid relationships? Its like I am a dumbass magnet or something.
Sometimes I wonder... if id just be better off living by myself. I do kinda prefer being alone. Maybe I need a gf again and to take another break from boys. Lol
I'm going to clean the kitchen up now... even though I haven't been the one here to make it a wreck. It won't get done though if I don't do it. Its like I'm the only one that sees the pile of dishes and overflowing trash cans. Maybe i'll be able to sleep. Maybe I'll end up wondering what it would be like to have help. Maybe I'll just stand at the sink and imagine you're there behind me, giving me a hug while I wash dishes.
Night Kenny <3
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